Happy Birthday, Dad
You were looking forward to turning 80. I am not missing you less - actually, I am starting to think of you even more fondly - if that is possible. Every day, I thank God for you - your influence in my life - my life itself. But I now live in a new world - a world that I never imagined. It is strange to me - everything is less familiar, and I feel alone . . .
The thing that haunts me most is that your looming presence is fading just a little more each day. Your features are fading - less clear and less distinct. And I am starting to forget the sound of your voice - full of love, hope, direction . . .
You were right - there's never enough days. Happy birthday. I love you.
posted by the sojourning pilgrim @ 7:58 AM
4 Comments:
This really touched me. My father died a horrific death of cancer a few years ago, and I am still coming to terms with it all. My Dad was a good guy, but he and I never connected emotionally---an issue I'm occasionally startled to learn I am not fully healed from. Seeing the contrast between your relationship with your father and my relationship from my father helps to define things I know were missing. It helps me to know the path I must take so my boys grow up loving me like you love him. God bless you and your father today.
Kelley aka daddyo,
Thank you for your understanding comments. Dad and I really connected after something of an emotional detachment - like two bucks in the forest, determined to accomplish the same purpose, but needing to do battle in order to establish individuality. In his latter days, which lasted for some time, we were able to share honestly and openly our feelings for each other. Were you to have listened to me roughly 8 years ago, you would have heard a startingly different assessment of our relationship.
We did not agree on a wide variety of subjects - i.e. he was a Republican, I am a Democrat. We did agree on basic tenets of doctrine, and I realize that he was really my first teacher of a more "moderate" approach to biblical interpretation - his approach was not so scholastic, but rather intuitive.
Like you, however, I regret the years he and I missed. Although we worked at redeeming them, we did miss out on some time . . .
I wish you well, and patience, with your boys. Such an important task - helping boys become young men, and then mature men . . .
Thinking of you today!
Peace and love
Amazing. Today is my father's birthday as well. He is 78 and dealing with a lot just now.
I am so glad to still have him with me.
Happy birthday to both our Dads, in heaven and on earth.
Post a Comment
<< Home